Kindness

Happy Wednesday Scribblers I hope everyone is doing well today and you are all taking good care of yourselves. This week I want to talk about kindness…

Ugh. I hear you all saying.

But, being kind is something in short supply these days and has been in short supply for quite some time. Given everything that has happened the last several years and especially the last several months I’m asking people to be kind to one another. Kindness doesn’t cost anything and is pretty easy.

I’m not asking you to do anything else, you don’t have to embrace your abuser, you don’t have to be passive, you don’t have to hide your hurt, you don’t have to hide your anger. You don’t have to hide your glee. You aren’t being asked to tone done the celebrations. All you need to do is be kind.

Why do I keep saying this? Why do I keep asking you to be kind to one another?

Here’s the thing. I remember as a kid all the awful and horrible things that were said about me and too me. I remember being bullied, I remember crying and wondering why no one liked me. I remember someone threatening to throw me into a fire because no one like me and everyone wanted me dead (yes this really happened).

As I got older, I remember being called more names and having people threaten me to the point where a sheriff had to follow me home for several days to ensure I wasn’t attacked or beaten up…or worse.

As I got older still, I was lucky and I was able to melt into the background of High School I wasn’t picked on too much, which was a relief. After school, once I came out and started going to clubs with my friends, the name calling, the threats, the bullying, etc. started back up.  A friend and I were attacked one night and, on another night, we were harassed by the police.

Once I joined the working world (with a real job), I had a boss who was a bully. He would hover over me not saying anything and watch me. The abuse got so bad that I ended up in therapy for a while. It got so bad, that when I went to the big boss, I was told I should quit because they weren’t going to do anything about it. I resigned at that point and went to a lawyer to see what could be done only to find out there was nothing that they could do. The Lawyer would be happy to file suit, but the odds of me winning were less than zero and it would cost me a fortune. They also said that any media attention would ruin my chances of getting hired anywhere.

I was in my mid-twenties.

Why am I sharing any of this, most of which I haven’t thought about in years, because through all this, I tried to remain kind to people. I smiled, I laughed, I lived my life as best I could. I figured the only thing I had any control over was how I reacted. I didn’t come by this realization alone, it took therapy. Anyway, I could have been angry. I could have been cruel. I could have been petty. I could have treated them just as badly as they treated me.

And, yes, there were times I did all of that.

The company that forced me to quit, made the mistake of telling me I could still attend the company Christmas Party. Oh, and did I attend. I called one of my best friends at the time, who happened to be gorgeous and asked if he would help me in a little pay back. He jumped at the idea. We showed up at the party all decked out, and we put on a show. The boss who asked for my resignation was there of course and so was my bully. I ignored them both and turned my back on them and walked off when they came up to greet us. The rest of the night my buddy and I danced, made out, and made sure that this last work event I went to went down in the history books. I was so proud of myself for the way I handled it. I showed them. I gave them a taste of all the BS they had forced on me and they had to take it. Every bit of it.

I felt vindicated.

Then a couple days later I heard, that no one cared. That I looked petty. I looked childish. All I had done was reinforce their opinions about me. Not only had I burned that bridge, but I blew it up, salted the Earth and nuked the surroundings.

Was it a personal victory? Sure.

Am I proud of what I did and how I acted? Not really.

Despite this being what I would call a victory it meant nothing to them. They could point to me and how I acted and say, “That’s what we dealt with daily. That’s why he’s not here anymore.”

None of true. But it didn’t matter. I had made such a show of it, that people believed them.

I didn’t make a point. I didn’t make a statement. I played the fool and looked the part.

I wonder what would have happened if I showed up and was kind. Thankful for all the wonderful people I met there. If I held up my head and treated them the way I always wanted them to treat me. What if I shook their hands, smiled and thanked them? Could I have done it? I would like to think so, but I can’t say for sure, because I was so hurt and angry.

The reality is I’ll never know.

I believe 100% that what I should have done, is been kind at the very least. I could have smiled. Talked to my friends and been polite to my former boss and not turned my back on them and walk way. Then they would have had nothing negative to say about me, and they would have looked like idiots when people asked why I wasn’t there anymore.

Ah well. A lessoned learned I suppose.

What I want you think about is this, what does it cost you to be kind? How does it make you look? Why should you take the high road? What will people in your wake of nastiness say about you? Because trust me there will be a wake, people won’t forget. They may understand and agree but in the back of their minds they will always questions when you are going to blow up or act up again and are they going to be on the receiving end.

That is the cost that hinds behind cruelty and hate.

For me I’m not kind for any of them. I do it for me. I do it so I can hold my head high and know that despite all the awful, horrible things that are done and said to me. I didn’t let them win. I showed them that they can’t pull me down. That at the end of the day I was the better person. I did what was right. Even though it hurt and was hard as hell, I passed the test of being a decent human being.

You don’t have to embrace your enemy to be kind. You just have to show them that they have no power over you. You aren’t giving them space in your mind or in your emotions. Despite all the crap they put you through, here you are; strong, powerful, in charge, and living your best life. They didn’t win. You won.

You won!

You won, because they mean so little to you that nothing they did affected you. Even if you go home and need to cry, or whatever you have to do to heal. When it comes down to it, when you are petty, nasty, and mean. You are validating the worst that they pointed out in you, and not only did you show them, but you showed the rest of world too.

Be kind. It costs you nothing.

Being kind isn’t giving up. It’s not condoning their behavior. Being kind is you keeping your power and your strength. Kindness shows the world that you can go out and fight for all that is good in the world. You can fight for the change you want to see and at the end of the day, you can still be a kind and good person. Your victory won’t be built on cruelty or nastiness, but on a smile and a kind word.

Some of you won’t agree with me. Some of you are still hurt and angry by so many things. I know nothing anyone will say will change that and I’m sorry.

I’ll tell you all this truth about me. There is a lot I’m still hurt and angry about. I still think people don’t like me. I still live in the world where someone is trying to push me into a fire because no one could ever like or care about me. Sometimes, I still hear my former boss standing over my shoulder breathing, watching me work, just to torture me. When I see a sheriff’s vehicle my mind flashes to when I had to have an escort home from school so nothing would happen to me. When I see a police car I often think is this person going to pull me over and harass me. When Eric and I are out on the streets or somewhere public I look over my shoulder to see where he is and to see if anyone is watching us or going to say or do something to us. Those hurts and fears never go away, they are there, at least for me.

But I don’t let them make me bitter and angry.

At the end of the day. I’m still going to be kind, or at least try to be. Because out of everything, that is what I can control.

That’s all I got for you. If you are still reading and want a bit more from me. Check out some of these past posts you might enjoy:

Where has all our Mutual Respect Gone?

This is another piece about how we treat each other and why at the very least we need to have some kind of mutual respect (much easier said than done). Click here.

Where has all our Mutual Respect Gone?

Want to hear my thoughts on “Polite Society” and how I don’t always agree with it. Check out this post here.

 All about San Jose, California.

This is a fun post about my home town. Where I grew up and where me and Eric live. Click here to learn more, especially since it’s the location where most of my books are set.

I hope you enjoyed, or at least got through this and understand a bit more about me. Please remember to drop me a heart/like letting me know you stopped by. If you found this information interesting think about sharing it. Got a question feel free to ask in the comments below and I’ll do my best to answer it. Until next time I hope you stay safe and have a great week.

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Traveling During a Pandemic Observations and Tips

Happy Wednesday Scribblers I hope you are all staying safe and taking good care of yourselves. This week I want to talk a little about traveling during a pandemic and sharing what I learned. My hubby and I went on vacation for ten days.  Sounds crazy right. I know.  If I’m honest I was worried about traveling during this time, still we did it and I wanted to share my thoughts and my experience with you.

We decided to go to DisneyWorld and spend ten days. We had been there in February and we’re familiar with the location so we were comfortable enough making the trip.

We weren’t worried about DisneyWorld in general because we have seen all the safety precautions they’ve taken in the parks, resorts, and restaurants, but the flight was another story.

We did our research and found that Delta Airline was keeping the middle seat empty and doing deep cleanings before each flight. We also noted that Delta had changed all the air filters on their planes to the ones that are supposed to get rid of all the nasty bugs and viruses. So, those safety precautions made us feel a better, why they haven’t been doing them all along is beyond me.

When it came to the actual travel some of the things we noted were how empty the airports were (both San Jose, Seattle and Orlando) air travel is nothing like what it was back before the pandemic.  I will say the airline and the airport did a good job with keeping places clean and ensuring people wore their masks. Unfortunately there were issues with social distancing, but that is the same thing you would experience at a grocery store or anywhere if we’re honest.

Boarding the planes was back to front (with the exception of First Class), which seemed to work well and kept people apart.  As each person got on the plane the flight crew handed them a sanitizing whip that they could use to clean the area around them. Also, facemasks were required and you could only take your mask off to drink or eat.  During the flight passengers were given a ziplock bag with a bottle of water, bag of crackers, sealed cookie, napkin, and a single use of handsanitzer. This was actually one of the better snacks/services we’ve received in economy in a long time, so the pandemic has really made the airlines step up their game…

I approve.

We had a single lay over in Seattle, which gave us time to get some real food and walk around.  Again, the airport was pretty empty. All the restaurants (that were open) had tables distanced from each other making us feel more comfortable. Again most (not all) people wore masks and practiced social distancing.

I wasn’t sure what to expect when we got to Florida, but it wasn’t like it had been in the past.  The airport was strange and surreal. I’m used to my trips to Florida to be filled with rushing families and people chatting, laughing and all of that. Yes, there was some of that, but not a lot. Everyone was focused on getting to where they needed to be.  We made our away to Disney Transportation and once there and checked in we were ushered to our bus with other travelers. We were distanced on the bus (which was filled back to front). At every step of the way we were reminded to keep our masks on and to keep our social distance.

The cast members did everything they could to make sure everyone was safe and having a good time (or as good a time as possible after traveling all day).

Because of the lack of guests, limited resorts, and social distancing our bus went to more resorts and took a bit longer to get us to where we were staying. We were staying at the Contemporary and the travel from the airport to resort took little over an hour. Our driver did some trivia questions, which was nice and the banter was very much appreciated.

Once at our resort we got a text with our room number (there was no need to go to the guest services desk).

Everywhere on property signs reminded guests to wear masks, keep your social distance and a new reminder that guest not wearing their masks would be asked to leave.

If you’ve ever been to DisneyWorld you will know that not only is it the most magical place on earth it’s also one of the busiest. Not now.  The resort was quiet and there weren’t a lot of people around.  The staff we saw were cleaning and wiping down everything, while chatting and waving.

A lot of waving these days.

Regarding our actual stay, the parks were clean and Cast Members were waving and greeting everyone. Some of the things I noticed in the parks were:

The Noise.  I’m used to a lot of noise at these resorts and parks, but they seemed quitter, there wasn’t as much chatter, which may have had to do with the attendance, the parks from what we found out were at 25% capacity.

What was Open: All four parks were open, however, inside each park a lot was closed. We found that stores, restaurants, and some attractions were closed.

The Wait Times: Most of the wait times were what you would expect. We were hoping they would be less, but most of the wait times were between 40 – 90 minutes.

FastPass: Nope not right now.

Mask Policy: Cast Members made sure that everyone wore their masks and there were signs everywhere saying that if you don’t wear a mask you’ll be asked to leave.

Masks: Masks are everywhere and honestly, its kind of fun to see all the masks people wore and finding out where they got them.

Social Distancing: This is an area that even though most people tried, it amazed us at how hard it was for people to stand on their markers and to stay out of people’s personal bubbles. Cast Members did what they could and I applaud them for all their efforts, but this is an area that is hard to succeed in.

Yep, me with Mary Poppins… Love her.

Rides and Attractions: Cast Members were on top of this. They were cleaning everything (even the drinking fountains) and ensuring that high touch points were whipped down and cleaned. At points you could even smell the cleaner through your masks.

Dinning: Every restaurant we went to had limited seating and had limited menus. The Cast Members again were amazing and ensured that we were well taken care of. Of course, the food was good, but offerings were limited. Most menus offered; beef, chicken, fish, vegan, and vegetarian. The limited offerings were disappointing, but understandable.

Here are my recommendations (general and specific) if and when you travel during the pandemic:

Have a Sense of Humor. I know these are difficult times. None of this is easy and everyone wants to keep safe (even those that may not act like it). Try to laugh and try to keep a sense of humor. It’s the only way we are going to get through this.

Have Multiple Masks. You will want to take several masks with you. I suggest one new mask a day, and if you sweat a lot then maybe bring extra, there is nothing worse than having stinky wet mask on your face.

Get to Places Early. It sucks, but get to the airport, the plane, the parks, the hotel, the restaurant, the wherever early. This will make your life so much easier…seriously it does.

Hand Sanitizer. Use it, bring your own, use the free staff all over the place. We touch a lot of surfaces without even knowing it, so keep using hand sanitizer.

Wash your Hands. You can never wash your hands too much right now. So, do it.  Some locations will have hand washing stations, use them.

Mobile Ordering. You really need to use this. It is something that will make your life a lot easier and most places require it.

Cash. Despite what you may hear to the contrary everywhere we went they accepted cash and made change. There was one location that only did cashless transactions.

Expect to Wait. No matter what you do, you are going to have to wait for something. Be prepared to wait, it’s part of life even when we aren’t in a pandemic.

Walking. You are going to do a lot of walking. I cannot emphasize this enough, you will be walking between 5 – 10 miles a day. So be prepared.  Bring good shoes. If you have little ones understand you are going to be carrying them at some point. If this doesn’t sound fun to you, then don’t go.

Transportation. Yes, Disney has all kinds of free transportation, however, it can be slow. So, you are going to be waiting. Same with the airports (slow and a lot of hurry up and wait).

Cost. Whatever you think you are going to spend…double it… no triple it… this has nothing to do with the cost of DisneyWorld it has to do with being human and wanting stuff. There will always be something shiny to catch your eye, there may be a sweet treat you can’t miss out. Be prepared to fork out the dollars.

Plan a ‘Resort’ Day (or Three). Okay, here is the thing. There is a lot to do and you are going to want to do it all, but the reality is you are only human and if you have little ones you are going to be exhausted. You need to take a day off and relax. It is Eric and I and for our trip we planned two resort days were we did nothing but relax and take it easy, this is more important than you can realize.

California Grill at sunset.

Dinning. Look there is no way around it. You need to make reservations as soon as you can for the restaurants you want to eat at.  You may get lucky and swing a walk-up, but don’t count on it. So, plan your eating accordingly. Especially if you want to do a nice dinner or something like that.  There is no room service and the food at the counter service locations is good, but limited. Plan ahead!

Free Water. Are you hot and thirsty? Most counter service places will offer free cups of water. Get them, they are a life savior.

First Time. Use a travel agent, find one that specializes in Disney Vacation. They will know all the ins and outs and they will know about special prices and dinning and all that. Find one, check their reviews, and use them.

Weather. Ugh.  Florida… Hot and humid. Plan for rain, hot, humid, etc.

Polynesian resort

Hotels. Limited services are now the norm, don’t expect daily housekeeping. You can still get towels and things like that, but no daily cleaning… so if you make a mess you are going to be stuck with it.

The Bubble. When you go to Disney or Universal you are going to be in a bubble and I suggest, if you are worried about anything, you stay in that bubble. We never left Disney property, that may not work for you and your family, and that is fine. However, the standards at one location (or park) may not be the same everywhere. The bubble can be your friend especially right now.

Don’t be an Ass.  You are hot, you are tired, you waited all day for Rise of the Resistance and you find out that your boarding pass isn’t going to happen. Be kind. Be nice. Laugh. Smile. Be flexible. Don’t be the family making a fuss and yelling at each other in front of other guests. We all see them. We all laugh at them. We all make fun of them. We don’t want to be them.

Lastly there are tons of YouTube Channels that focus on travel and provide tips and tricks for you, these folks all do their best to provide you with good information check them out.  Some of our favorites for DisneyWorld are: DFB (Disney Food Blog) click here, Michael Kay click here, WDW (although sometimes they can be a bit much) click here, and there are a bunch more so check them out.

Be prepared to get photos you may not get during ‘normal’ times.

That’s all I got for you. Overall, our trip was enjoyable, but different. We had fun. Disney and Delta have all done a great job making us not only feel safe but welcome. If you are worried about traveling during the pandemic, then I don’t suggest you travel, because you are reminded about the pandemic everywhere you go. I do think that all the safety precautions that have been taken have made it as safe as possible (as long as you stay in the bubble). If I’m honest I feel safer in the parks, at the resorts, and on the plane then I do at the grocery store or Target.

Want more insight into our travel. Here are some links to some of our other travel adventures (pre-pandemic):

Summer Vacation 2019 - click here

Why Authors Need to Travel - click here

Random Wednesday - click here

That is all I have for you this week. I hope you enjoyed. Please remember to drop me a heart/like letting me know you stopped by. If you found this information helpful share it. Got a question feel free to ask it in the comments below and I’ll do my best to answer it. Until next time I hope you stay safe and have a great week.

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Absent Friends

Hello Scribblers. Another week has flow by. Over the last few days, I’ve thought a lot about people from my past.  Friends who at a time in my life were important to me. They helped me in so many ways, then over time we lost touch, they moved away, or of course, they passed on. This is how I define an absent friend and they play a big role in our lives, or at least they do in mine.

It’s funny in a way, when I think of certain friends I smile or I remember something crazy stupid we might have done. I have a laugh then I get nostalgic. I wonder what happened? What changed? Was it a fight? Was it something that was said or done? Was it life? What would they say or do now if they were still with us. Was there something that I could have done or said to ensure they were still here? For whatever reason life changed, we grew apart and then they were gone.

At this moment, I can think of at least five absent friends who I remember and miss on a regular bases. They showed me and taught me things that I know I would have never learned otherwise. Some of it good and some of it not.

I morn these losses.

I, also, celebrate these times.

I celebrate because of what I learned from these people. Whether I learned more about life and how to live it, myself and how people see me and how I see myself, or about the world in general, not everyone has the same history or background so what might make perfect sense to me and be a ‘no brainer’ is in fact difficult and not as intuitive for others. These were important lessons and by extension those that taught them to me are important. So, I wonder what happen to them. What they are doing now. Where they are. How they are getting along. Who they are with. Are they happy. Are they looking down from above? Do they think back fondly on the time we were friends or do I not even get a passing thought? It’s interesting to think about.

Assuming they are alive, you would think finding them and being able to check in on them would be easy given the prevalence of Social Media these days, but even with that, not everyone is on social media and not everyone wants to be found. Some of these people, who for whatever reason affected us greatly have even gone so far as to ensure we can’t find them.  Which is fine, they have to take care of themselves. I know, for myself, I’m sure there are people out there who think I was a terrible friend. Heck, I could even be the villain of their story. And I’ve come to peace with that.

What others think of you is none of your business.

Still, I’d like to think that they learned as much from me as I’ve learned from them, but maybe not. There is no rule that says education has to be a two-way street.

Still, these people, these wonderful individuals where important to me and I find, at times, that I miss them and I wonder about them. I hope they are happy and healthy. For those that have moved on from this world I hope they are watching down on us and continue to check in.

Absent friends don’t have to be looked back on in a negative manner, because even the worst of them taught us something and for that we should be grateful. Painful lessons are often the best teachers for us. I think I’ve learned more from being hurt by friends than any other way. Being taken advantage of, being lied to, being physically hurt and being emotionally traumatized are all powerful tools. They suck, and are terrible, but you learn and it is doubtful you will ever have to go through that again.

Lessons are what life is all about. We learn. We grow. We move forward. At least that is the hope. And absent friends, as well as friends, are there to help teach us these lessons making us who we are now… hopefully that is someone better than we were before.

Let’s all be better. Let’s take the lessons we’ve learned from friends and absent friends to heart so their lessons were not in vain.

That is all for now, my lovely Scribblers. What about you? Do you have absent friends who have taught you a great deal, but for one reason or another are now gone from your life? Share your stories below. Please remember to drop me a heart/like letting me know you stopped by. If you want to help support me and my writing efforts please consider sharing this post on your social media platforms to help keep the conversation going. Until next time I hope you stay safe and have a great week.

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Updates from Shelter-in-Place Land

Hello Scribblers. Wow! My last blog post was on March 25th that seems like a lifetime ago. My family and I are now on day 30 of our shelter-in-place order. I’m an essential worker (technically) as I work for a nonprofit that has been working the front lines of the pandemic; delivering food, preparing meals, providing mental wellness, helping the homeless, etc. Physically I’m not on the front lines, however, I’ve been working the back end and supporting our agency efforts, which is a lot of phone calls and emails with other nonprofits to track down necessary items so our work can continue. Unlike several of my coworkers, I’m working from home and only going into the office on rare occasions.

As for my husband, he works from home about 50% of the time, but because of his job he is also an essential worker (keeping his companies lights on, paying of staff, etc.) When he goes into the office he works alone, so he doesn’t come into contact with others.

When it comes to my 80-year-old father he stays at home 95% of the time, every day he takes his car for a short drive and about once a week he will go to the grocery store and pick up food. He wears a mask and does what he needs to do to not come in contact with others.

Now, before you yell at me about him going out. We tried to keep him home, but short of handcuffing him to his chair, there is no way to do it, so we mitigate the risk, for him, as best we can. He wears a mask and he goes to the store during the early morning senior hours. He washes his hands and uses non reusable bags (i.e. paper)

I’m happy to report we are all healthy, which at this point is the most important thing.

On to something lighter.

I have two announcements today. First, I’ve been working on two new writing projects. One is about a lost continent off the Pacific Coast, and the second is about a future where vampires, lycan, humans and witches all live together. Both ideas have been fun to work on. I’m not 100% sure where either story will land, but it’s been nice to jump back into writing.

Lastly, for today, my publisher is continuing its 40% off sale on all eBooks, including mine. If you need something to read, please click here and check out all the amazing books available. Read more about them below.

That is all for now, my lovely Scribblers. Do you have any ideas for keeping busy while we are all at home? Share them below. Please remember to drop me a heart/like letting me know you stopped by. If you want to help support me and my writing efforts please consider sharing this post with folks to help me get the word out, especially about the book sale, it’s a great deal for eBooks and you are supporting a local business and local artists. Until next time I hope you stay safe and have a great week.

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What we can control

Happy Wednesday Scribblers, I can’t believe we are halfway through March and we are heading into Spring. How has your 2020 been going? Are you looking forward to Spring? Summer? Are you worried about the COVID-19 Virus? Worried about the coming election? There is a lot happening all around us and it can feel overwhelming, right?

These last few months I’ve felt like I’ve been in a fog, a kind of holding pattern of sorts. I go to work; I come home; I work on my writing (mostly editing); I spend some time on my marketing (i.e. social media) and that’s been about it. I have a new story idea that is floundering around in both my writing files and in my brain. I’m about seven chapters in and that is where it’s sitting.  The characters aren’t talking yet, and the story idea feels lacking.

When I throw in everything that is going on around me; the virus, the coming election, not seeing enough rain so far, the weirdness of my family since the passing of my sister, I feel stuck. It all feels like I have no control. Life is happening around me, and I’m a passive passenger.

I don’t like it.

I suppose it could be the mourning for my sister. Heck, it could be a winter funk. I’m not sure. So, today, I wanted to spend a moment writing this, get all these random thoughts out of my head and down on paper. Hoping to hear that I’m not alone. That I’m not the only one that feels this way.

I’ve been realizing how out of control the world seems, even in my personal world, and how I have little ability to control any of it. I think also, I’m angry about the death of my sister. Her dying wasn’t the plan. We were supposed to outlive our folks and grow cranky and old together. We were supposed to sit around and talk about how nutty mom and dad were and how no one would ever really understand our lives growing up except us. She and I were supposed to make fun of our own aging and our spouses and how they annoy us at that moment for whatever reason. But now I don’t get to do that. My sister meant a lot to me. We didn’t talk often, and we could annoy the hell out of each other, but I knew she was there and I could pick up the phone to call her. We could sit and bitch about anything and laugh at everything. That was taken from me. It sucks. It hurts. And I hate it. So, I’m angry about that. If I’m honest, I’m even angry with her and that is hard to admit. I know she didn’t get cancer on purpose, however, I’m still allowed to be angry. Right?

Then you throw on all this garbage happening with the coming election. We have a broken political system allowing the least qualified among us to become President. Look at our current options. They’re all terrible. I don’t want any of them, sure I can vote, and of course I will, but where will it get us? Who will it get us? What lays ahead of us? We trust these people not only with our country, but with our lives and livelihoods. Yet, I wouldn’t trust any of these idiots to make me a PB and J. Ugh. I don’t really want to think about it, because it’s terrifying.

Yet, here I am.

Remember to wash your hands and don’t touch your face… Seriously! This is the best our idiot leaders have to fight the COVID-19 virus. A virus that at the time of writing this well over 111,00 confirmed cases worldwide with more confirmed cases each hour. And Santa Clara County had its first (of what I’m sure will be many) death related to the virus. What are we supposed to do? Where is our government? What are they doing? What about the CDC and WHO, where are all the scientist? I know everyone is doing their best and people are trying, but it’s not good enough. Yes, of course, the regular flu has killed more people, and I’m sure there is a lot of media hype that is freaking everyone out. I get it. I’m not stupid. Still, we deserve better, and we’re not getting it.

Think about this for a second. I mean really think about this.

In all levels of governmental leadership, they are failing, and we keep voting these morons in. Do any of you really think the next person will do any better? Nope. Again, would you want any of them to make and serve you a PB and J. I sure as hell wouldn’t.

Now, what used to be my bright spot was my writing. It was where I went to escape. To dream of better worlds, adventures that I would love to take. All that fun stuff. But these last few months the well has been dry. And it doesn’t hold that spark for me right now. It’s no one’s fault and from everything I’ve read these things happen. Which allows me to appreciate the break. Sort of. I’ve spent this time editing and refilling the writing well. I haven’t been inactive. I’ve submitted a new novel to my publisher with another soon to be hot on its heels. With luck, they will pick them up… I’m still waiting.

I’m also feeling a bit let down by it all. It’s kind of like my day job, I feel like I give and give and I get very little in return. It’s like I’m there for everyone else and who’s there for me? Of course, there are people there. Of course, people reach out. And I enjoy it. All of it, but there are moments like right now where I wonder why I bother and I question if it’s all worth it.

So, what do I have left right now? I’m angry. I’m annoyed. I’m scared. And I’m in a writing funk.

I know I have limited control over any of it, so I shouldn’t worry about it and I’m trying not to.

In the meantime, I’m working on what I can control. I still talk to my sister now and then, but she doesn’t talk back. I even have a good chuckle now and then over our crazy antics we got into.

I vote, I pay attention to politics, and learn what I can. When it comes to it, I make the best decision I can based on the options presented to me.

And I wash my hands, use purell sanitizer, and try not to touch my face (which I fail at continually).

Mostly, I carry on. That is what I can control. I regulate my reactions and how I respond. I will not wallow in sadness, or angry, or fear, or anything else. I chose how I want to see things. Instead of focusing on all the garbage and all the negative I prefer to look for the positive. I enjoy the little things and the big things. I may not be able to control the world, but I can absolutely control how I respond to it and that’s something.

My point with sharing all this is because I want to let you know you’re not alone, none of us are. Also, we can’t control what is going on around us, but we can 100% control how we respond to it. I’ve said it before and will say it again. Be kind, be the change you want to see. Respect each other (even when it’s harder than hell). Don’t wallow in sadness and self-pity, that doesn’t help anyone. Last, don’t waste your time or emotions on people who affect you in a negative way, you don’t want them to live rent free in your brain.

I’m not only saying this for you, but for me.

Well, my lovely Scribblers try to focus on all that is positive and good. You, we, can only control our small part of the world. We can also control how we respond. Please be kind to one another and when all else fails take a deep breath; in through your nose, and out through your mouth. Until next time have a great week.

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Holiday Traditions

Happy Wednesday Scribblers, I hope you all had an amazing couple of weeks. If you haven’t already seen a post about it, one group I belong to (The Sparkly Badgers) is doing a month long giveaway. Each day you can download a new free eBook. This is a great way to find some new authors who you may not have found otherwise.  The books are free and you can get a new book each day, with the last book being given out on December 25, 2019. 

To access the Sparkly Badger’s Christmas Advent Calendar click here.

This is the second year I’ve taken part in such an event, so it’s becoming a bit of a tradition for me. This got me wondering what kinds of Holiday Traditions do you have (share them in the comments section below)?

My family and I have several traditions and today I figured I would share with you. First, we bake cookies. Not a few cookies but several dozens of quite a few varieties (chocolate chip, peanut butter, snicker doodles, lemon delights, etc.) After we back them we give them out as gifts each year. It is a fun tradition, that I will admit I don’t always feel like doing, but in the end we have a great time and it always helps to get me in the holiday spirit. Over the years the day of baking has grown from a family event to include several friends. I’m sure there will be photos so I’ll be sharing those over on Instagram (if you’re not following me, you should, I post all kinds of family friendly photos over there) here is where you can find me: authormdneu

Second, we cook wontons. I know it sounds strange, but ever sense I was a kid my cousin and her family made them. Then over time my mother, sister and I picked it up. Now it’s my husband and my father. It’s a blast and we always have a good time, even if we end up being exhausted by the end of the day.

Lastly, this is a much more recent tradition, my husband and I will host a holiday party for family and friends. It’s a great way for us to connect with folks who we may not have seen in a while. We have hors d’oeuvres, mulled wine, cider, and deserts (typically homemade cookies).

Those are some of what me and my family do during the holiday season. What do you and your family do? Let me know in the comments below. Remember, you can like and share this post, which makes a difference in helping me reach new readers. Well, until next time have a great week.

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What to Share – Siblings and Family

Happy Wednesday Scribblers, can you believe we are little over a month away from Christmas and the end of 2019. It’s been an insane year with so much happening and now we are slowly marking to the end of it all… Wow!

This week I wanted to take a moment and thank everyone for all your support, not only over the last several years, but over the last few months. Some of you may know that I lost my sister to cancer a few months ago. I would be lying if I said it hasn’t been difficult. Most of the time I’m fine, but really I’m not. Every day I have to remind myself that just because she is gone from our physical world doesn’t mean she is gone. She’s still in my heart and in my memories. She is there with my mom and everyone else who has gone before.

Today, if you’ll indulge me, I thought I would share what I wrote for her memorial (it was this past weekend). Some of you may have seen it already posted on my Facebook Fan Page or in a post on Facebook. Still I wanted to share it here:

Dawn Marie Neu (Cooper)

Dawn and I at my nieces wedding.

Fifty-seven years, that’s not very long in the grand scene of things; however in Dawn’s life she made every moment count. She was a daughter, grand-daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, friend, 4-H All Star, Letterman in Swimming, DECA member, wife, mother, contractor, designer, Lion, partner, volunteer, grand-mother, and much more. Fifty-seven years may not be a long life, but when you live as full as Dawn did, you don’t need anymore. Dawn made the most out of her life living it to the fullest, always having fun and bringing a bright light to the world, not only around her, but also beyond her immediate touch. Whether it was a vacation with the family, business trips, day trips, parties, or simple visits with family and friends, Dawn never failed to brighten a room with her smile and warm personality. We can’t be sad for someone who had such a wonderful heart, joy for life, and bright light about them, because not even death can extinguish such life. Dawn will live on in our smiles, our laughter, and every time we think of her silliness and sense of humor.

Today, we aren’t sad, but joyful. We celebrate her life and all the people whose lives she lifted near and far, including those lives that none of us will ever learn about, of which, knowing Dawn, there are many.

As you all know, Dawn wasn’t about anything fancy. She was about family, laughter, good food, great friends and fun times. In the spirit of celebration this is how Dawn will be remembered. She will be the light at every party, the sparkle in our eyes and, of course, that extra spice in something delicious we enjoy together.

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I wanted to say this to anyone who is reading this and who is lucky enough to have a sibling still alive:

Family is a pain in the ass. We all know this. We all know that we can work each other nerves and that if anyone can drive us to the crazy house faster, it’s family. However, despite all the garbage we put each other through, siblings are the only ones who know what they have been through. They have a shared history and are the only ones who understand their parents, for good, or for bad. Siblings, not only fight each other, but fight for each other. I know that some people grow apart; I know that for some family is a source of great pain, I also know that for others it’s best they keep clear of their families, and I know that for some they have no siblings at all.

Dawn, Mom, and me with Mickey Mouse

I only had my sister for 48 years, and I can tell you it wasn’t enough and I can also tell you that despite our strong relationship there is much I wish I could have still shared with her. Just like mom (who I only had for 37 years), no day will go by where I don’t think about her. What I’m saying here today is, if you are able to be part of your family’s life, do it, even if it’s just a phone call, text message or whatever, don’t let any more time pass between you, because our time is fleeting and when the final goodbye comes, it will be too late.

Well, Scribblers be kind to each other, love your families, forgive them if you can, and enjoy them while they are still around. Remember, if you have questions for me leave them in the comments below or you can email me at info@mdneu.com Don’t forget to show your love by liking and sharing this blog post with other readers. In the meantime have a great week and see you next time.

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Thank You for all Your Support

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. I hope you are having an amazing week. This month marks my third year as a published author. Crazy, right? This week I thought I would take a moment and thank you all for being around and taking the time to support my writing. There are a lot of authors out there and if you’re a reader, I’m sure you have a stack of books fighting for your attention. So, thank you for adding my books to your stacks.

Another thing I wanted to do this week is share some amazing reviews and graphics that have been created for my books and short stories. If you post a review to a public forum, there is a chance a portion of your comments (no names are associated with the review) will be used for promotional materials, which I think is pretty amazing. So if you’ve taken the time to review any of my works, check out the graphics to see if you can see if your comments are being used.

Here are some pieces that have been created for each story.

What do you think? Tell me in the comments below.

As a reminder book reviews are incredibly important, so if you’ve read a book and you want to help my works reach more readers please leave a review on one of your favorite platforms. Another way you can help get the word out about my works is by sharing my posts and encouraging your other readers you may know to buy my books. If you live here in the US and want to signed copy, you can always order one through my website (click here) and I would be thrilled to send you a signed copy.

If you would like to buy any of my books you can find them here.

NineStar Press: https://bit.ly/2VroALu

Amazon: https://amzn.to/2U3Kx65

Barnes & Nobel: https://bit.ly/2NxRypZ

iTunes: https://apple.co/2EneUKQ

Kobo: https://bit.ly/2IDBcxk

Remember, you can always leave me questions below, or you can contact me directly (click here) I always respond to your questions and comments as best as I can. As always, don’t forget to share and like this post. Until next time have a great week.

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Am I Really a Fraud and a Failure?

Wow! A new month, October no less. This time of year happens to be my personal favorite. However, these past few weeks a blanket of sadness has covered me and my family as I have lost my sister, Dawn, to cancer. It has been a challenging time, and each day has both highs and lows. These past few weeks have seen more lows than highs, and I have taken many moments to stop and ponder my writing and what I’m doing. I debated quite a bit about this blog post, but I finally decided I would post it and share some of my thoughts about this writing adventure I’ve been on.  So, here we go.

This month is special as back on October 23, 2017 my first short story was published by NineStar Press. The story in question, The Reunion, it’s my first short story and if you aren’t familiar with the plot here is the brief blurb:

It’s been twenty years since the quiet Midwestern town of Lakeview was struck by tragedy. But every year on the anniversary of the event Teddy returns home for ‘The Reunion’. Lakeview, like Teddy, has secrets and not all mysteries should come to light.

This time period was special for a different reason a darker reason, it was also around this time that we learned that Dawn had a cyst on her neck that needed to be removed. We would find out later that it was cancer.

This is me with my sister Dawn. I often say that my husband, Eric, is my biggest supporter, and he is, however, Dawn was my fist Champion and Protector.

When it came to my short story, I remember being thrilled. Of course I told Dawn, and she was as excited as I was. I wasn’t able to believe that anything I wrote would ever be published. She of course never doubted me.

I still have these feelings two years later, but now she is no longer here to remind me that I am good enough.

With The Reunion coming out I knew I had one more short story coming out in December 2017, A Dragon for Christmas (which was dedicated to her and my niece), and in January 2018 my debut novel, The Calling would be launched. So much was happening, and it was crazy roller coaster ride. At the time I had a group of wonderful people around me helping me work through planning a launch party and helping me set up all the back end details that are associated with being a Writer. With these amazing people including my sister and the rest of my family, I could be more excited.

It was great.

Fast forward to today and here I am, I have four novels out, and two short stories. I’m currently working on the edits for the next novel in my A New World series Conspiracy and I’m working on the edits for the sequel to The Calling. This is all amazing. I’ve accomplished something that hundreds, if not thousands, of people are never able to do, and I’m grateful. I count myself as a lucky man.

But as I mentioned, Dawn isn’t physically here to share in my joy anymore and that is difficult.

By now you are probably wondering why the title of this post is called Feeling like a Fraud and a Failure. Well, because if I’m honest I feel like a fraud and a failure, since October 2017 I’ve learned a lot about the writing and publishing world. I’ve also learned about and met so many amazing authors who tell these stories that touch your soul, and here I am writing fluff. I’m not complaining, I love my stories and I love the writing I’m able to share with people, however, my writing is mind candy, it doesn’t really do anything for you, it’s enjoyable for the moment and just as easily forgotten when you are finished.

I think part of all this, has to do with the loss of Dawn, I know she is still around me spiritually. She is still, of course, cheering me on, but I miss being able to call her and talk to her on the drive home. Somehow talking to her reminded me of my specialness.

I never set out to be a serious, hard-hitting author who tells stories that make you think. I’ve only wanted to write stories that are fun and take you on an adventure.

Now, I sit here wondering why. Why not write something profound? Why not write something with meaning? Why not write something that will change the world? Why not write something that makes a difference? The answer I come up with is that I’m a fraud. I’m not a real author, real authors write those kinds of stories, but I don’t. I’m the empty calories you enjoy for the moment then when you’re finished you wonder why you ate that candy at all.

I think, as writers, we all want our work to have some kind of meaning. Some kind of impact on people or on society. Part of my writing journey has been listening to other authors share their stories some write to make a difference, some write to be famous, some write to make money, some write for fun.

Why do I write?

I like to think I write to tell good stories that people can relate to, but looking back on what I’ve written I wonder are they good stories that people can relate to? Are they anything more than just a random collection of words on a page that a few people will enjoy? Does it matter? Mostly, I wonder why I feel like I’m a fraud and a failure when I’ve accomplished more in my writing in the last two years than most people will every accomplish?

Dawn, was older than me and I always wanted her to be proud of me. I know she is, I saw it the last time I went to visit her and brought her copies of my books and she cried, because she was so excited. I know she supported me in what she shared on Social Media about me and my silly little collection of words.

Please, forgive this whining and this moment of reflection I don’t want anyone who reads this (all five of you, including my husband) to think I’m unhappy or ungrateful, because I’m not. I wake up every day look at the copies of my physical books sitting on their little stands and remind myself of what I’ve accomplished and how blessed I really am.

I think, today, as we are getting closer to my family’s private memorial for my sister, all of this is hitting me hard, because it’s all becoming more and more real to me.

Thank you for letting me share this. I shall step out of the light and move on to brighter topics and continue to remind myself of what I’ve done. I won’t just be doing this for me, I’ll be writing for my sister too, because I can’t let her down, she has faith in me and my writing and that is pretty powerful, well, at least to me. Tell me do you ever feel like you are a fraud or a failure in what you do? Do you have moments of doubt and indulge in a little self-pity? Do you have someone in your life who reminds you to keep following your dream? Share your comments below and let me know that I’m not the only one who feels like this.  In the meantime have a great week and see you next time.

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Summer Vacation 2019

Happy Wednesday Scribblers, can you believe summer is almost over and the kids are getting ready to head back to school? Where does the time go? This week, in the vein of summer (at least for those of us here in the Northern Hemisphere) I figured I would share with you all a little about where I went on Summer Vacation.

This July Eric and I packed up the car, plugged in the iPod, and headed to southern California for a week away at the happiest place on Earth. This trip was special as it was Eric’s birthday and we haven’t gone away for his birthday in quite a few years. So, this year we splurged and stayed at the Disneyland Hotel and we set up some amazing dinning reservation for the week. As many of you know we go to Disneyland when we can, but this year, like I said we did some things we don’t normally do, and we had an absolute blast.

Staying at the Disneyland hotel we got lucky and stayed on the club level, which granted us access to the E Ticket Lounge on the 10th Floor. The lounge had amazing views of the park and offered heavy snacks and adult beverages throughout the day, which was fantastic. It was especially nice with the heat and humidity that was going on while we were there.

Disneyland may be the happiest place on Earth, but not so much when it’s in the 90s and 100s (32c – 38c) and hovering around 50% humidity.

Because of the heat and humidity we would get to the parks early then leave when it got hot. Our plan was to return to the parks in the evening when (in theory) it cooled off, it didn’t work as planned most days.

Did I mention we got to do things we don’t normally get to do? Well we did, we got to ride in the back of the monorail, when we were heading to the park. So cool!

One of the big reasons for going to Disneyland was to check out Galaxy’s Edge and ride Smugglers Run. Galaxy’s Edge was amazing. The whole land, was incredibly detailed and I could spend hours getting lost in all the scenery. While there, we didn’t really eat anything, but we did manage to try the blue milk and green milk, which was good. Personally, I liked the blue milk more, but they were both tasty. We also got a Tatooine Sunset, which was yummy. Of course we managed to ride Smugglers Run twice (we were Engineers both times) and overall we did quite well. I still can’t believe that Eric got 100% accuracy… whatever.

No, we didn’t get lightsabers or droids, but we did explore the shops and interact with the natives, which was fun. Sadly, I didn’t see Rae, nor did I get to see Kylo Ren, but you can’t have everything. Next Trip.

While we were they, as I mentioned, we set up some great dinning reservation. We ate at the Napa Rose, Carthay Circle, and Steakhouse 55. The food was amazing and I think Eric enjoyed himself.

This trip we also got to spend a couple days with my amazing cousin, which is always a blast.

As you can see, me and the hubby had a wonderful holiday and enjoyed our time away, despite the heat and humidity. Where do you like to go on vacation? Did you go anywhere this summer or do you travel at other times of the year? Let me know in the comments below. In the meantime have a great week and see you next time.

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Why I Write and How the Stories Come to me?

It’s kind of funny, to think about these two questions. Why do I find it funny you may wonder? Because I get asked this by people who’ve known me a long time. Friends I’ve known for years and family members who have been around my whole life. So, I get a chuckle out of the question right before I freeze and can’t come up with an answer.

Today, I figured I would try to answer these questions here in an honest and intelligent manner.

When I was a kid I didn’t read very much. I’m dyslexic and reading was, and still is, a challenge for me. I hated reading and writing, but I loved telling stories and talking. I could make up crazy stories off the top of my head and people would listen–which was cool. It distracted folks from the dyslexia and helped me not feel like I was stupid or ‘retarded’ like some kids called me. Plus, I’ll be honest, I enjoyed the attention.

As I got older and had to read and write more for school, I forced myself to find books I liked. I needed the practice and to improve my reading speed if I would survive in school. In High School I got lucky, I had amazing teachers who introduced me to literature works, some good and others not so good. They also took the time to help me with my reading and encouraged my writing.

I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for some of my amazing English teachers. To them I say thank you.

During this time, I slowly (very slowly) realized I was attracted to boys. Not girls like all my guy friends. This was in the 70s and 80s when there were no openly gay men or women even when I found Stephen King and Star Trek, I loved the worlds they created, but still no people like me. When I found, Interview with the Vampire, by Anne Rice it was the first time I saw two men together raising a child. Are they a gay couple? If you believe the subtext they sure are. A messed up gay couple, but there it was in writing for the first time in my life. It was amazing.

Then AIDS hit and I remember hearing how gay equaled AIDS, and AIDS equaled death. What does ‘gay’ stand for? Got AIDS Yet. This ‘joke’ bothered me then and bothers me now. However, what AIDS did, after hundreds of thousands of gay men died, was, for good and for bad, it gave us the tragic gay character. I wanted to change this. I needed to change this. So now, I create strong characters that anyone can relate to, that happen to be gay. My characters needed to be so much more than gay! Gay would not be the focus. Which leads me to the second thing I noticed especially in gay fiction. Almost everything I found and still find is gay romance or gay erotica novels. There is nothing wrong with that, but, for me, I wanted more out of my characters. I needed to create something different that would appeal to everyone.

I wanted to see a gay character attack the Death Star and blow it up, be an Officer on the bridge of the Enterprise who had a partner on ship, be the married couple that have to deal with a paranormal attack on their family, and have to flee in the night with their kids, as coffins blew up out of the ground around them. I wanted to see heroic gay characters save the realm and have the audience cheer for them in the theater. No one would bat an eye at the fact that the person the characters were saving weren’t someone of the opposite sex. I wanted to see real gay people living in all these fantastic worlds. That’s why I write.

How do I get these gay people to live in exciting worlds? Well the ideas for my stories come from all around me. They come from family and friends. I see something that will happen and it will spark an idea, a ‘what if’. Most of the time my ideas start off as the characters talking to me in my dreams. They will come introduce themselves and tell me who they are and what happened to them. When I wake up, I make notes and start from there.

I know it sounds bizarre to speak about characters talking to you, but for me that’s how it works. It’s not always just the main characters either. I’ll get background characters or secondary characters who will come forward and tell me about themselves. That happens if they’re not happy with how I’m handling them in the story. I remember I had one secondary character furious with me and wouldn’t quiet down until I heard what she had to say. What I ended up discovering about her made me fall in love with her and now she’s one of my favorite characters to write about.

Okay, so that is a bit about why and how storied come to me. As always if you have questions leave them below in the comments section. Don’t forget if you know someone who might enjoy my novels or my writing you can share this post by clicking the ‘share’ button below. Until next time have a great week.

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Happy Christmas

Merry Christmas Scribblers! I hope you’re all enjoying the Holiday Season. As you may have noticed I’ve taken a bit of time off from my scribbles page. Not only have I been busy with the holidays, but I’ve been completing the edits on my new Sci Fi series to be released on January 21, 2019: A New World-Contact (Book 1). Also, I’ve been working on A New World-Conviction (Book 2), coming out on March 11, 2019 to learn more about Book 1 and Book 2 click here.

The official launch party for A New World-Contact (Book 1) will be February 21, 2019 here in San Jose, CA. There will be more details coming. I will also, be doing a book signing in Sacramento, CA so keep an eye out for more information. Hitting the shelves in June 2019 will be my new urban fantasy novel T.A.D. - The Angle of Death click here to learn more.

Along, with getting these new novels ready for the world this upcoming year, I will again, be a judge for the Rainbow Awards, which means I have a bunch of reading to do, which, luckily, I’ve started.

Coming in the New Year I will provide more author interviews, more book reviews, and I will be adding to my ever growing list of book recommendations, click here for the list of books that I consider a must read. I will also be showcasing more of my poetry, which if you missed any you can check here.

Finally, I want to wish you all a wonderful season and I hope your new year is a blessed and prosperous one. Remember to be kind to each other and never give anyone the power to make you feel less than. You are all wonderful and special.

Merry Christmas!

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The Week Before Thanksgiving

It’s the week before Thanksgiving (for us here in the US) which at its end marks the start of the Christmas Season (which actually started back in October) and… ugh. I’m not feeling it this year. If I’m honest I don’t want any part of it. I don’t want to be bothered with Thanksgiving and I definitely don’t want to bother with Christmas. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the year I’ve had. I have so much to be thankful for and I don’t want to every sound ungrateful. Regardless, I’m not feeling any of it.

Could it be all the political crap still going on? How crappy people are treating each other, both on-line and in public? Possibly. There seems to be so much crap (this post is also a drinking game to see how many times I say the word ‘crap’) going on and despite all the encouraging things happening there is, sadly, so much negativity to go along with it. Why? This can’t be only me feeling this way? Can it?

Now, I realize that I’ll get out of my pre-holiday funk and things will turn around. In that vein, I want to share all the positive things that have happened for me this year:

• I released my debut novel, The Calling.

• I’ve received positive reviews for The Calling.

• The Calling is in the top 150 Best Vampire Books by a new Author.

• The Calling is in the top 100 Best Gay Vampire Books.

• I’ve made great Author Friends this year.

• I’ve gotten to know some wonderful fans who have been supportive of my writing.

• My two short stories The Reunion and A Dragon for Christmas have done well and people seem to enjoy them.

• After fourteen years, I finally got a new car. Yay!

• The agency TV I worked on, Change Lives for Good, was a finalist for the CreaTV Awards.

• Eric and I had a wonderful cruise to Mexico.

• A New World – Contact was picked up by my publisher.

• T.A.D. – The Angel of Death was picked up by my publisher.

• We spent some amazing time with Family and Friends this year.

• Eric and I had a fantastic week in Hawaii for my birthday.

• We got our Bathroom remodeled.

There has been a lot for me to be thankful for, even putting this list together has improved my mood, which is another thing I’m grateful for. I think, like many of us, this crap happening around me has bogged me down which has taken my focus off all the wonderful things that have happened and continue to happen all around me.

Maybe, that is something we all need to do. Keep a list of all the positive things that have happened to us and continue to happen to us and not let the crap steal the spotlight and take away our sunshine.

Thank you for allowing me a moment to whine and focus my thoughts. Reminding me that, yes, there is a lot a crap in the world, but overall things are good and life has provided me and my husband some wonderful moments. If you want to share some positive events your year has shown you I would love to read them. You can do it in the comments section below. The more we can focus on the good the better off I think we all will be. Remember, you can like and share this blog (or any of my blog posts below).

Until next time, have a great week Scribblers (oh, and, if you were counting I said ‘crap’ eight times).

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October Updates and Special Announcement

Wow, can you believe we are already in October? Crazy right? This week I wanted to provide a personal and writing update. Also, I have an exciting special announcement so stay tuned (this is a Scribbler Exclusive). Let’s get to it shall we.

The last few months a lot has been going on with my writing and me. If you’ve been following along then you know we have been amid a bathroom remodel. We can now see light at the end of the tunnel. Thank goodness! It hasn’t been that bad, but it’s exhausting. I’ll be thrilled when construction is over and we have, not only, our bathroom back, but also our house (if you want to see the images from the construction check them out here and here). Once everything is complete, I’ll provide a final update with photos for you to check out.

When it comes to my writing, I’m working on The Calling – Book 2, which I’m toying with naming… The Called. There are a couple of reasons for this name, which I can’t get into now, no spoilers and all, but the name is significant within the story. Also, it was one of the names suggested by a reader over on my Facebook Page (check it out here). What do you think? Let me know in the comments below. Overall, the writing is going well and my goal is to have the first draft finished by the end of the year, which is ambitious, but we’ll see. Should be a piece of cake, right?

Oh, did you see the character interviews I have with two popular characters from The Calling? If you want to know more about Victor Rey (click here) and Juliet de Exter (click here). You need to check them out, they were a ton of fun and you might get hints into what may be coming in The Called - Book 2 in The Calling Series.

This month I will be getting the edits from my Editor for A New World – Contact Part One (learn more by clicking here) which is slated for release on January 21, 2019. As with The Calling there will be a launch party here in San Jose. If you’re in the area or can make it out this way stay tuned for more details in the early part of January 2019. I hope to see you there, last year it was a lot of fun… just saying.

Believe it or not, I have a second book coming out next year T.A.D – The Angel of Death (learn more by clicking here) it be released on March 11, 2019. As with A New World – Contact there will be many more details as we approach launch day.

I’m looking forward to sharing these new characters and new universes I’ve created with you.

Now for my Special Announcement. This is a Scribbler’s Exclusive… drum roll, please…

I have a limited number of copies of The Calling, which I will personalize, autograph, and send out to folks in the US for $20. This is a print book, and the cost covers the physical book and shipping (standard USPS mail nothing fancy). To be part of this limited exclusive offer of The Calling First Edition please email me at info@mdneu.com and we can work out the details (name, mailing address, and payment). If you are outside the US and would like to take advantage of this amazing deal, please email me and let’s see what we can work out. I will keep this offer open for a limited time (I’m not saying when it will end). And remember for right now this is a Scribbler Exclusive, so take advantage of it now before time runs out and I open it up.

Well gang, that’s all I have this week. Coming up later this month, I have a couple of amazing interviews so keep an eye open. Remember to like and share below. See you all next week.

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My Life Dealing with a Bathroom Remodel (The Fifth Week)

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. It’s been a busy few weeks and I hope you all have enjoyed the recent series of Interviews I’ve provided. I have another great interview coming up next week. I’m not telling you with whom, but I can’t wait to post it.

This week, I figured I would do an update on our bathroom remodel… oh yes, we are still under construction, and its been painful both financially and emotionally. Both Eric and I are trying hard not to complain and we remain grateful that we can repair all the water damage to the house and get things fixed up. However, it is taking its toll on us.

If you haven’t read about our first week of construction, you can check it out here (see the damage) so you can get caught up with the drama.

As the title says, we are on week five. I’ve attached a bunch of photos for you to look through and see the progress (click the images to scroll right).

The amount of work that has gone into our small bathroom (remember it’s 8-feet by 7-feet) is crazy. The construction team has done a lot of work and we’re pleased with the quality. But, there have been several hiccups along the way all related around communication with the contract and the scope of work. Leading me to my latest lessons learned:

Third lesson, get everything in writing, and I mean everything because communication is sketchy at best. You should make notes of the color of the paint (not the name, but the code), how many shelves you want in your shower niche, the fact that you want a shower niche, any additional work you may want done (like wall sconces instead of a single light), what your current balance is, how much more money you owe them, what does the contract say about payments, who is picking up what material and when, what is included in your contract, etc. Anything and everything you talk about, write it down, make sure they have copies of it, and you have copies. Don’t assume you are all on the same page, EVER.

This leads me to the next few lessons we learned:

Fourth lesson, you are not the only client the contractor and designer have. They are working on several jobs at once, and you are only one. The contractor and designer are human and they forget things. You may live in the construction zone and see it every day, but they don’t, and so it’s important to remember that. Try to not over react (this is difficult… very difficult… trust me).

Fifth lesson, communication can suck. Even if you meet, write things down, email and text them, communication sucks big time. This can be for many reasons. They are busy. They don’t have time to respond to you. What you sent them may not need a response. You may be just as annoying to them as they are to you at the moment. They are human, and might need a break from your craziness. Even though you are paying them an obscene amount of money for the job.

With all I’ve said above, you may think I’m being easy on the contract and designer. Trust me, I’m not. I’ve been pissed at them and irritated as hell with them for not remembering something as simple as; we needed two shelves in the shower niche… you know the freaking niche you showed us in the tile showroom. The same tile showroom we sat and picked the paint colors for the bathroom together in. Yes, that show room. Ugh… how can you not remember… you showed it to us. Okay… breathe… I’m not being easy on them, but I’m desperately trying to remember they are human and we are one of the many clients they have.

One point I quickly made above and wanted to share more about here is, when it comes to the contract and change orders knowing what you actually owe them can be tricky. And annoying as hell. You would think the Invoices would be clear, but they aren’t. The amounts can change, especially if you change the scope of work, which we’ve done. We’ve been working with the office staff, and they have been good about getting back to us and ensuring we are all on the same financial page. Still it’s been annoying to deal with especially when you’re trying to rework your inflated budget and confirm you have enough pennies saved to pay for the project.

There ya go. That is the construction update for now Scribblers. To the best of my knowledge, we still have a couple more weeks to go, but honestly, I’m not sure. What’s left? Well, they still have to finish the stucco on the outside of the house, tile the bathroom floor and shower, put in the fixtures, install the glass shower surround, finish the electrical, touch up the paint, pass inspection, and who knows what else.

Can it please just be over? Please!

Well Scribblers, I hope you have a great week. As I said at the start, I have another interview coming next week. In the meantime ‘like’ and ‘share’ (click on the buttons below) this post with friends and family who you think might be interested in learning what it’s like to live through a real life bathroom remodel (and not an HGTV version). If you have questions about this post or anything going on with my writing let me know in the comments below.

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My New life Dealing with a Bathroom Remodel (The First Week)

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. Here we are again.  Another week into August (can you believe it’s almost September?).

This week I thought I would share with you my current journey of having my bathroom (and only shower) remodeled.  The process has only just begun (week one) and we’ve run into snags, cost overruns, and increased timeline.

Let me start at the beginning. Our house was built in 1938 and we moved in on September 2000. The first thing we did was turn our home, formerly the neighborhood crack-house, into something livable, which included a full bathroom remodel. We did a lot of the work ourselves (my father at the time was a general contractor) so we were confident in our skills and his ability. After a month of ongoing cleaning and household updates, we moved in. The bathroom was shiny, new, and we loved it (see the photos above. Nice. Right?).  That was eighteen years ago.

A few years back we noticed that not only was the bathroom getting a little dated, but some tile cracked and we were having issues with leaking (it happens).  We started planning for a bathroom remodel. Since we had done this before we knew what we were in for, and we also planned for what we knew would be water damage (broken tiles and water stains).  We created a budget and went to work trying to find a contactor (we couldn’t do the work ourselves and my father had retired).  After finding the top three Kitchen and Bathroom companies in our area (based on the BBB, Yelp, Angie’s List, etc.) we called them all in to view the space (which is only 8-feet by 7-feet) and give us an estimate. The process took about two weeks.

First lesson, the cost of the bathroom remodel would be $10k more than our budget (I wanted to throw up).

Second lesson, the timeline would be about two weeks longer then we planned for. (I didn’t throw up, but I came close).

See, when we had done the remodel ourselves it took a little over a week (and we weren’t living in the house). The cost, well we didn’t have to pay much labor because we did a big chunk of the work ourselves (except for the plumbing, which if we would have done we wouldn’t have had the leaking… ugh) so those costs were low. We didn’t go into this blind; we had done our research so we felt we had planned on a healthy budget (overly generous if you would have asked me when we started the process, did I mention the size of the bathroom 8-feet by 7-feet. It’s small).

Not happy with the budget news and the timeline we picked the contractor we felt would do the best job and seemed to get our style. They weren’t the most expensive, and they weren’t the cheapest. None of them were cheap… oh well I’ll get over it. I don’t want to sound ungrateful because I’m not. I understand how lucky we are to be in a position to fix all this. And I also realize that labor isn’t cheap and I believe people should be paid for their knowledge and their expertise… but does it have to be so much?  Ugh.

Documents signed, first and second design meeting finished. The big day arrived. Demo…

Oh, before I get ahead of myself, we decided to continue to live in our house. We managed to set up an outdoor shower (in the backyard). Stop laughing. We have it tented with sidewalls, a propane insta-hot water heater, rack for our soaps and shampoos, etc. So, it works.  It’s not ideal, but it works.

Okay, back to the Demo.  We left our bathroom in the morning and came home to what can only be described as the gateway to hell.  Dry rot on the exterior wall, decaying floor joists, 2x4’s that crumble in your hands, etc. You can see the damage in the photos.  Is it as bad as it could be? Probably not. Was it worse than any of us thought?  Yes. Yes, it was.

The Contractor and the Designer came to meet us, last Friday, to talk about what we needed to do. More demo was needed to tear out all the old rotted wood before they could repair it.  This would include knocking out the back exterior wall. As you can guess this changes the scope of work, adds more time to the timeline, and more dollars to our already inflated, ridiculous, outrageous, budget.  This has happened all within the first week of construction. Oh, joy. Oh, bliss. According to our Contractor we have about another four or five weeks to go.

Just shoot me now. I don’t think I’ll make it.

Now of the best part. A co-worked asked me, when I started talking about a bathroom remodel, what we were having done, what our budget was, and about contractors. He as looking at doing the same thing as us. Well, a few days ago we were talking, and he informed me that he was getting his bathroom done for $6k (new floors, new fixtures, new tile, new everything, and the guy was a licensed contractor) this time I really did almost throw up. I have no idea how either bathroom is going to turn out, but at this point I can’t help but feel like one of us is going to be getting screwed… and not in the good way.  Ugh.

Well Scribblers, I thought I would share this journey with you. Again, I don’t want to seem ungrateful or unappreciative because I’m not. For me it’s all about shock at this point. I know we are going to have an amazing bathroom when it’s all done. So, do you have construction nightmare stories?  Do you feel like venting about it?  Feel free in the comments below.  I would love to hear that I’m not the only one.  Until next week, I hope you have a great week. If you want to share this blog post with someone who is going through a remodel of their own, you can do so by clicking on the share button just below.

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Merry Christmas!

Have a wonderful and blessed Holiday Season.

I wanted to take this moment to wish you a very merry Christmas and thank you for being so supportive of me and my writing.  If you’ve been following along this whole year, you understand it’s been filled with amazing highs (three books picked up by my publisher, NineStar Press) and painful lows (Illness and deaths of several close family members). Still, I’m so blessed to share not only my thoughts with you all here, on my Scribbles page, but also, I’m able to share three wonderful stories with you. Click here for Amazon and here for NineStar Press where you can buy my books.

This year Eric and I are hosting a holiday party.  We haven’t done one of these in quite a few years, so I’m sure there will be pictures which I’ll share either here or on my FB page.  Also, during this holiday season I plan to finish reading, Diary of a Quarterback–Part 1: King of Imperfections, by S.A. Collins.  I, also hope to get more writing done. Even though I get just over a week off, I’m gonna be busy.

Feel free to share what you are doing for the holiday.  I love to hear from you.  So drop me a note and let me know.

Have a great holiday everyone.

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Writing & Personal Update

It’s time for another Writing Update and given all that has happened over the last several weeks there is no better time than now.  Things for me have been a mixed bag full of blessing and sadness. It’s never easy talking about the not-so-happy events going on in our lives, well not for me, but I figured I would share as talking it through is supposed to help.

Recently, my husband and I had to go to Utah to take care of my husband’s father. He has terminal cancer and dementia.  It’s not been easy, and my husband is an only child, so there is a lot for him to deal with. All I can do is support him and the decisions he makes. Luckily we’ve had some wonderful support from his aunt and uncle so we weren’t totally alone in dealing with all of this. 

A few weeks back we all spent a week in Utah taking care of his father’s house (getting it ready to sell). We also spent time seeing his dad and making sure he is settled in the care facility, which is amazing. The staff are wonderful and so is his father’s hospice worker.  As I’m sure you can imagine it was a stressful week, but we got everything we needed accomplished. By the end of the week we were all exhausted but we still had out humor. Eric’s uncle summed up the week like this, “It’s amazing we’re all still talking to each other.” We all got a good chuckle out of that.

Amidst that, my short story, The Reunion was being finalized and getting ready for its launch. The launch was October 23rd and went off swimmingly.  I’m so thrilled that I had the support of great friends, family, and the wonderful folks at NineStar Press (check them out here).  They really helped and made the process seem less.

Unfortunately, because this has been a mixed bag of emotions. Last week I got news that one of my only living great-aunts passed away (she was 99 years old).  This sad news brought up the memories of my grandmother (my aunt’s older sister) and the realization that that generation has all moved on. We have a close family so that has made it all the more difficult.

Also, on October 23rd it was the fifth anniversary of Eric’s mother’s passing in a tragic accident.  So, the day my debut short story launched there was an air of both joy and sorrow. Eric and I agreed that his mother would’ve been proud and excited and we’re sure that the launch date was no coincidence.

I’m a firm believer that our family never leaves our side and that they are always there with us. The launch day was one way for her and my mom (also passed away) to show their collective support.

There you have it an emotional roller-coaster.

I don’t want to end this on a sad note because as I said at the start these last few weeks have been a mixed bag of both good and bad. To that point, I still have two more books coming out over the next few months, A Dragon for Christmas (December 18th) and The Calling (Jan 1st) I’ve also, been writing/editing three different stories so there is much more to come. And lastly, I want to share some quotes from a few of the reviews I’ve received for, The Reunion (buy it here):

“…cleverly written and I couldn’t put it down because I just needed to know what had happened in this town!” – Lulu Forth (Alpha Book Club) full review here.

“I thought I knew where the author was going with the story and time after time, they proved me wrong.  And that ending….” – Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words (full review here).

“A fantastic story full of good times and bad, The Reunion is one of those tales that you're going to want to read over and over again.” – Amazon Review by Wordsmith full review here.

Until next week, have a great week gang.  Remember I love hearing from you, so leave me a comment and don’t forget to like and share.
 

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Polite Society…Ugh

We live in the age of Polite Society.  When you speak with your friends or coworkers, it goes something like this:

“Good to see you.” You say.  “How’s it going?”
Friend, “great. How about you?”
“I’m doing well.  Thanks. Talk to you later.” You smile and walk off.

That’s normally it.  There might be a little more banter about movies, sports or TV, but normally things wrap up quickly and you both go on with your day or move onto something else. It’s all lovely and polite and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.  Except.  You both lied to each other.  Things aren’t great and you’re not doing well, but you don’t want to air your dirty laundry and your friend or coworker doesn’t really want to hear it. So, we pretend for the sake of social graces.

What brings this up? You’re asking.  Well, for me there is a lot happening right now and it’s made me take a moment and reflect on all that we don’t know about each other and what we don’t share for the sake of being polite.  Over the last six weeks (actually much longer) I’ve been dealing with major family issues, both my side of the family and my husband’s side of the family.  I won’t go into the details, however needless to say it’s been stressful and left me in a kind of funk.

I’ve tried to keep it away from both work and social media, because we all have our own crap we’re dealing with. What it’s made me realize are the smiles on each other’s faces are often a mask to hide the drama in our own lives. We want to show the world ‘we’re fine’ and ‘everything is great’ when in reality it’s the opposite.

Look, I’m not a proponent for ‘airing your laundry’ to the whole world (in face there are some people who do this way too much just for the attention they get) and a certain amount of ‘stiff upper lip’ is important. However, when we see all those smiles and we have our pleasant generic chit-chat about sports, or movies, or TV maybe peek past all that. Ask yourself if this is a moment I should go a little deeper, does this person need to talk, really talk, or do they need the false charade to help them get through all the crap they are going through? Because it does work both ways, sometimes we need Polite Society to get us through the day and provide us a break from our world of crap. Regardless, it’s worth at the very least a mental question and perhaps we should take a moment to open up and really talk to people especially our friends. 

I don’t know.  It’s just what’s been going on in my head these last few days. I’m not the only one to think this and I’m not the only one to point this out.

Feel free to share your thoughts.  I always love hearing from folks.

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Also, I wanted to let you all know that I’ve read two really amazing books recently:

Daimonion by J. P. Jackson click here for my interview with J. P. and here to get the book.

And

When Heaven Strikes by F. E. Feeley Jr. click here for my interview & review of the book and here to get the book.

Until next time have a great week.

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Writing Update

I have so many updates to provide, but first with all the current devastation with the hurricanes in Texas and Florida and the major earthquake in Mexico I want to share some ways for you to help.

Catholic Charities USA–Long term recovery and support click here

Red Cross–Immediate support click here

Caritas (Caritas International)–International relief outside the US click here

These agencies do amazing work and already have people in the areas helping.  There are many other non-profits who help as well.  These just happen to be the ones I tend to support when disasters hit.

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When it comes to my world of writing a lot has been happening since my last writing update. 

Firstly, I now have three books (two short stories and one novel) being published by NineStar Press it’s very exciting and I can now share release dates with you (so mark your calendars):

• The Calling – release day January 1, 2018
• A Dragon for Christmas – release day December 18, 2017
• The Reunion – release day October 23, 2017

So, as you can imagine things are crazy busy with editing and working with the publisher on cover art and all that good stuff.  I can’t wait to share the cover art with you all.

Secondly, I’m still one of the judges over at the Rainbow Awards.  There have been so many wonderful entries and I’m excited to still be part of the process.  The awards will be announced in December 8, 2017 click here for the Facebook page with more information.

On the writing front (yep, I’m still writing new stuff) I recently finished my novella T.A.D and it’s started to make its way around my writing group, so this is exciting. The feedback and suggestions I’ve been getting are wonderful and are really helping the story.  Also, I’ve been editing ‘A New World – Conspiracy’ there is still writing to do, so this project hasn’t been getting the love it deserves these days.  I hope to change that over the next few weeks.

I have a few personal things I want to share with you all.  On August 21, 2017, I became a Granduncle, my nephew and his wife had a bouncing baby boy.  Eric and I have gotten to meet the newest member of the family, so that has been really quite exciting, I’m very happy for my nephew and his wife. Also, I know some of you still ask and yep, Eric and I are still doing our weekly meals.  It really has been wonderful and super easy.  We love it.  On a bit of a sadder note, both Eric and I have family members who aren’t doing well health wise. It’s not easy, of course, when you live in separate states so you can’t be there for them. However, with the help of technology we get to talk and check in so that is something.

If you haven’t noticed I’ve made a few changes to my website, nothing major but there have been some additions and modifications.  We’ll see what more needs to be done, but for now we’re making tweaks here and there.

Lastly, some of you have been asking about the headshots, well the short answer: it’s a process.  The long answer; we’ve taken two rounds of photos and we still want to take a third.  We’re trying to get various looks and moods, so it’s taking a bit of time.  I would like to have the headshots all done by the end of this month.  That is my goal, however, the photographer, and the others involved on the project may have other plans.  Either way, the photos are moving along and what I’ve seen I like, so that’s good.

That is about all I have this week.  Next week I have an amazing author interview coming out, so that is exciting.  Have a wonderful week everyone and if you’re in an area of the country or world affected by the hurricanes or earthquake, please be safe and take care.

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